Unless the relationship was truly painful or harmful, losing a parent hurts; no matter what kind of relationship you had

Even for stoics, for the emotionless, and for Christians who believe in Jesus Christ, and in eternity with Him: Grief still hurts, eventually and immediately, and long term

It has no clock!

Faith does not make us immune to loss.
Jesus is there for every need we have, but we are still human. We still have earthly hearts, earthly memories, and earthly emotions

When your mother passes, it is a particular kind of loss, especially if you shared a good relationship

When your father passes, it is another kind of loss. Mothers and fathers carry different roles in our lives. They meet different needs. But the ache is real either way, and there is no avoiding it

It may come upon you when you least expect it

You may reach for the phone to call their number, and then remember they are not there to answer

At Christmas, you may walk through a store and realize there is no card to buy, no gift to send, and no package, letter, email, phone call, or text message coming from them. You may look beneath the tree and feel the empty place their presence used to fill

You will eat certain foods

You will catch a familiar smell

You will hear a phrase they used to say, see a television program they enjoyed, or play a hymn that takes you straight back to them

You may hear one of their favorite gospel songs, and suddenly it is all there again

Before you know it, you are shaking. You are in tears. You may feel angry, sad, or alone, even in a room full of people. It can cut like a knife. It can roll over you like a steamroller

And it does not matter that you know Christ rose from the grave. It does not matter that you believe your loved one is with the Lord. Those truths are precious, and they give us hope, but they do not erase the fact that someone we love is absent from this life

The grief hits

It lingers

It hurts

It may ease for a while, then return without warning

Do not let anyone tell you that you should simply “get over it.” You do not just get over losing your mother or father. You do not simply move on as though nothing happened. You learn to carry the loss

You learn to live around the empty space, but it is still there
Once that last breath is taken, once the coffin has closed, or once the crematorium has placed the ashes in the urn, something becomes painfully final

That is when you truly understand what it means to miss someone

To miss your father
To miss your mother