I live hour by hour with unresolved guilt grief anger loneliness and a condemning inner conflict that wages war on my mind where my thoughts do not reconcile but clash instead

My sadness behaves politely now and knows better than to interrupt, It lets me answer questions and finish my responsibilities

It lets me laugh at the right moments and convince everyone I am doing fine It waits patiently through all of it; Then night arrives and suddenly it sits beside my bed again

Like an old friend returning to continue a conversation I hoped it had forgotten We talk about old mistakes and missed opportunities, We talk about people I could not keep, We talk about versions of myself I still grieve quietly

By morning it leaves without a word So I spend the rest of the day pretending we never met This is how I carry it all Hour by hour Day by day Night after night

The war inside me The sadness that waits The pretending that keeps me going The grief that returns The guilt that never fades The loneliness that sits beside me… And the conflict that wages war on my mind
the damn loneliness is the worst,……